worst dream of my life.

It started off in a dark area by a mall or a place with lots of building. I was there with Darin and the kids. Darin and Zack where ahead of me and they turned the corner and where out of my sight. Next thing  I knew I was looking around the mall with the girls and I went from looking though clothes to being in a hospital and learning Zack wasn't doing very good and asking Darin what happened and he said they turned the corner and it was a drunk driver and everyone was talking about mothers against drunk driver. I remember being in a dark room with him and tell him how much I love him and that I was sorry for all the times I fuss at him. Then I wasn't at the hospital anymore but I was getting on something like google earth and going though the hospital trying to check on him. Then I was worried about Emma she wasn't  feeling good so I was bringing her to the hospital where he was. when I got there she was better and there was an older old fashion nurse shaken her head at me. my mom took Emma and was laying down on stretcher in the hallway. the nursed told me Zackariah had passed away at 11:58pm I kept hearing everyone saying 11:59 pm I'm tearing up as I'm typing this. I went in the hallway where my mother was and woke her up and told her and she told me to call her boyfriend, rob and named a few other people. I remember shaken and barley able to use my phone I called him and all he said was that's a shame and hung up. Emma woke up and kept saying where my Zack where my Zack she was totally lost with out him!!! I was a totally mess. Then i woke up I was sooo upset but relived to be in my house where it was a dream. I walked in his room rub his back he rolled over took a breath I was so happy to see him there an alive. I looked in on the other kids and they were all fine. I went back to bed. I couldn't get it off my mind. I tried to get on my computer to see if anyone was online. Internet was out. I'm freaking out ! Am I really awake ? or is this the dream ? I download app to chat on my phone. found a friend to make me feel better. I went and got Darin off the sofa and told him to go to bed. I wanted to tell him about my dream, but I couldn't speak the words. I feel asleep and 1st thing on my mind was that awful dream this morning. He comes in this morning with some orange string acting up misbehaving smiling away and I was just to happy to see that smile in my life I didn't care. I rustled the kids around getting them ready for church. I spent a little bit more time with him. after church I carried my beautiful 6 yr little boy to the car just keeping him safe. I 'm sure he wondering what wrong with me as I most have told him a dozen times how much I love him today and I swear hsi smile is worth a thousand words and melt my heart on this wonderful November Sunday and I feel so thankful for after that horrible dream what feels like a 2nd chance !

Halloween

10/31/11

Halloween was on a Monday this year. Zackariah got home from school a little before 4pm. I had planned to walk with Alex & Cam's friends mom. I started by getting him and Emma in the tub. Then I started putting the colored hair spray in their hair ran out of the black and brownso I tried to add some red to his hair, but it didn't come out too great, but he is too young to notice. I got Cameron & Isabella ready next while Daddy worked on Alex. Zack went as Deigo.We were ready by 5:30 in time to do a few pictures and walk down to his friends house. his friends was having a melt down about a gun. So I took all the kids while the mom went to look for a gun for him. 7 kids was an adventure !we got home about 8:20pm Kids got lots of candy, Zack however didn't go to bed till after 4am !!! I don't know what his deal was !!!! Halloween is over on to November ... Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up fast.