Devastated

Devastated
Date: 4/23/2005

I am Devastated ............... The only word I can think of to explain how I'm feeling about this situation. I forgot to tell you all about it with all the excitement of the Ultrasound. My midwife informed me that she is leaving the practice as of NEXT WEEK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I total loved her to death I must have sat there for 5 minutes total clueless I still freaked out what I am going to do tot he point of wanting to cry !!!!!!!!!! I have several choices but none make me happy :( Someone told me I had the Birth I wanted with Bella and I should just suck up and just go with basically what the world thinks of a "normal" birth but I sorry I shouldn't have to settle just cause I had one good birth :( here what I can do...... Stay with Dr. Collins who worked Over My midwife, I use to like her until now........... A) When they thought my pregnancy might be a brighten ovam she saod "you didn't want to be pregnant anyone did you" I sorry that statement was wrong for a doctor to say to yes I didn't want to plan a pregnancy but ........... once I'm pregnant I want the child but who is she to make that choice just cause I was on Birth Control. B) Thursday she told me they wanted to do another Ultrasound to see if they could find the IUD if it not found they will want to do a xray I was like but I'm pregnant and She told me it not big deal it not like your baby will be born with two heads or anything there just a higher chance your baby could get leukemia OMG no Big deal !!!!!!!!! My baby could just have something that could kill him/her yeah That make me feel good. She just didn't seem to realize how scary that was !! C) She a Doctor I don't care for them after having a midwife. My midwife always care about how I was doing beyond the pregnancy and was never in a rush to get out my room. Another option I have is there another Midwife Across the Street I have never met her no clue If I would like her or not and if she is like my midwife or what ......... on top of that I have met the doctor who works with her and If it were up to me I have his balls hanging on a flag pole. I saw him for my first prenatal appointment while pregnancy with Isabella and told him some things I did and didn't want done he shot down EVERYTHING ! from the cord being put after it stops pulsing to the drops I didn't want in my daughter's eyes he told me it was illegally and he doesn't know who I've been sleeping with and I could get an STD the day before birth OMG ! jerk and I do not want him on call what so ever about to be in charge of MY Care !! My only other option is to look into a home birth which I love to have but I can not afford to pay $3,000 + for birth cause it doesn't seem they take my insurance not to mention check-ups ect... or I could look to find another midwife but these are the only 2 in area............. I'm so frustrated scared worried and devastated I don't know what to do



Written by daniellegk . Link to this entry This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
I'm Kelli from the Due in October message board on AOL. I just want to say I'm sorry you're losing the midwife you know and trust. I hope the new midwife is just as good. Try to enjoy this pregnancy as much as you can. I enjoyed reading your journal entry. If I wasn't so lazy I would start a journal of my own!
((((Hugs)))) Kelli - kellim939801
Comment from kellim939801 - 4/23/05 9:56 PM